Someone please turn off the loooove faucet!

So, spring is just around the corner, and I SWEAR someone just turned on the love faucet full force. My facebook, twitter and email are all full of people getting together, getting engaged, and just plain declaring their love for one another.

While, I know this is all part of God's good design, it's just another reminder that I'm single, and the majority of my friends, are not.

I've been praying a lot about marriage lately. Praying for God's timing, acknowledging that He is sovereign in His choice for who I will marry, praying that He will align my will to His. My singleness weighs heavy on my heart, like a weight around my neck. Sometimes, when I'm in Sunday School, or at dinner with friends, I feel like there's a neon sign hanging over my head, flashing in bright pink that says "Single," "Flawed," "Comes with Baggage."

While I feel I need to counsel myself out of this funk that accompanies the Single-in-Spring blues, I also know that when it happens, it happens.

My sister, who was 29 when she married, once told me that the wait for marriage was hard, but when you find the right person, the wait didn't seem to matter at all. Granted, she's now married, so of course the lonely nights, the tear-stained pillows, and the forced smiles are going to be a distant memory. But, I still think of that statement and hope that one day, in the not-so-far futuer, I will find someone, and then, I to will get to say, "That wait didn't matter at all."

having faith...

The theme of this year for me is faith. To have more, to follow examples of, and to grow in faith. Last year my faith struggled, actually it still is. My faith in a God that is good has wavered, and I'm not ashamed to admit that - now.

It's just hard to trust that the circumstances I find myself in are ordained by a loving God who has systematically planned my life, and that He has it all working out for good. It's hard, but at the same time I pray for faith in God's system. I pray that He will enable me to believe that things will all work out for good even when my faith is pushed beyond what I perceive as my limits. And while my feelings are valid, they aren't rooted in truth.

tired...

Tired. That's my most recent state lately. Tired from working. Tired from working out. Tired of never-ending work projects. I thought I was busy over the holidays, but it was nothing in comparison to this last month. I hope you'll excuse the absence of regular blogging for the last few weeks.

Basically, at work we're redesigning the church web site. I've always been interested in web design, but this project has been overwhelming, and my days off the last few weeks have been few and far between. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job. But I also enjoy getting groceries, hanging out with friends, and having a life outside of work, too.
The good news is that my life should return to "normal" soon, whatever that may be.

So, to update you, the last month I have done a few things to add to the launching my life theme. I've taken up swimming once a week in order to vary my fitness routine. I like it, although I'm not very good at it. Surprisingly bad, actually. I'm slow, afraid to get my face wet, but still, I go every Saturday morning in hopes that I will actually get better. We'll see about that. I'm going to get goggles soon, and this week I purchased nose plugs.

Also: I'm going to Jamaica! I'm taking my first missions trip out of the country. I'm so excited to go! I saw the opportunity, and jumped at it. It feels sooo good to see this list come true. And to feel like my life is heading somewhere. It feels really nice to have something to look forward to this spring.

So, yeah, a lot has happened in the last month. But right now, on a blissfully quiet Saturday night home, I think I'm going to take a quick nap. :-)