Lately I've been really struggling with being single. There are a lot of factors, and one of them is that I'm turning 30 around one of the most depressing times in life for a single woman: the holidays.
I realize I should be grateful for where I'm at in life. I'm losing weight, I have a lot of great friends, and a great job. And I can't figure out why I'm not content in that. Why I can't just have that and just live my life. Why do I want better? Why do I want more? What am I really longing for?
I've been dreading my 30th birthday. I know it's going to be a hard day, and I would really like it to be memorable and special. I would like it to be day completely about me - from start to finish. I just wish I could keep myself from having unrealistic expectations for the day.
In reality...my birthday falls around one of the busiest times of year. My family lives far away, and they all work in ministry. I work and am needed all day in the office that day. All these are things that won't change, despite the fact that I long for them to. That's life. That's reality. That's not going to change.
I'm praying God will helping me through this birthday. That his grace will be sufficient for me as I turn 30. God knows my pain. He knows that I'm special, and he gave me my day of celebration when he died on the cross. Now I just need to get that into my head.
Praying that in the next year God will do amazing things in your life, reveal a new purpose for you, and give you the desires of your heart.
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