This last week has been an amazing week. It has been very busy at work, and my house is no where near clean enough for the company I have coming over on Saturday morning, but it has been an amazing week. And I will tell you why...I started praying again.
I don't know why now, or how it started, but this past week, has just been great in getting to know my heavenly father.
I've been studying a lot about forgiveness lately, and I think, even though I did not want to admit it, I was blaming my singleness on God. Blaming Him for not giving me what I want, and giving him the cold shoulder as I wallowed in my self-pity.
I wish I could say exactly what changed, but I think through talking to God so much this week, we finally got things worked out. I never realized that talking to God again could be so great, or so lovely. Slowly, this relationship is building again as I cry out in my moments of need, and on the behalf of those I love around me, and give glory to our heavenly Father.
The only analogy for what has happened in the last week was a conversation I had last week with my sister. For so long, our conversations by phone have been the obligatory niceties that come when your live so far apart. You talk about your job, your parents, and the kids, but never get to the heart of the matter. Well, we decided to farther in that conversation that we had in awhile, and ended up yelling at each other for a good five minutes at each other. The conversation was heated, but it was probably the most honest conversation we've had in a long time. It was what it took to clear the air.
I think, this last week, that I just "cleared the air," so to speak with God. We had some honest, frank discussions, and once I was honest with Him, we could move on.
It feels so good to be moving forward with God again. I can honestly say that when I started this blog a year ago, I thought I'd be living in a different part of the US by now, that I'd be married, that my life would be different somehow.
Well, I am different and my life is different. I'm just a different person on the inside, living in the same place, working the same job. There's something to be said for internal transformation. It definitely makes you look at the "same old" in a new and different light.
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