Can't see God for my trees...

I love God. I want to follow him with my whole heart. I want to see His view for my life. I want Him to be the center. If only I could see Him through my trees.
Monday was a hard day. My back was spasming, I was on pain killers and muscle relaxers, I had a really busy day at work, and then on top of all that I was supposed to go to Bible study, and play in front of people.
Then, on Tuesday, I was a wreck at work, really wrestling through what my life looked like exactly. Why am I doing all that I am? What is the purpose of putting myself through all the relationships that I do, just in hopes of having what I think is right? I was at that point in my road where I can either choose to believe God, and trust even through all the hard stuff, or reject Him completely.
However, even though I had no idea, God had a plan to set me back on track. I hadn't listened to any sermons online in awhile, so I thought I would look up one from my former Pastor, Mark Vroegop, who was called away to Indianapolis a couple years ago.
These words were exactly what I needed at the moment:


“Unbelief often takes roots in our hearts when we think we’ve got a better plan than God. And the problem is that we can not only be guilty of unbelief; we will miss the wonderful things that God is up to. We can’t see the spiritual forest because it is missing a few of our trees!”


If it were up to me, I'd be married, maybe have a few kids, and own a home with a white picket fence. But, God has other plans for my life. Those expectations of a great life with a family are my trees. I fight and wrestle with God so often about them. While I am wrestling with God, I often miss what is right there before me. A beautiful forest God has created before me, full of life and relationships that may have never had if I were married. An opportunity to travel, to serve God freely. To bear fruit, not through family, but through relationships. 
Yes, I admit, the loneliness does not go away. I am still longing for the day when I will be married. When I will be able to experience this life with another person by my side. I still believe whole-heartedly that God will grant me the desires of my heart. But now, that tree of desire is just a part of the whole- not getting in the way of my view.