So, I thought I was over it. But I'm not.
Five years is a long time to like someone. To develop a friendship, and ultimately a crush. I don't know why I thought a week would be long enough to get back to normal. But, I'd been acting pretty well. Pretending, really.
I think, because if I pretended like everything was okay, then I wouldn't have to admit that I was really hurt. Crushed, pardon the pun.
So, while I feel like I've moved a little backwards in my recovery, I do know that I need to trust God and realize that each day will be a little better than the last.
It's like when I first started working out with my personal trainer this summer. That first workout was BRUTAL. After one hour with him, I felt really sick, and hurt in places I didn't know had muscles. But, I kept going back, day after day, until the pain dulled, and I didn't hurt anymore.
While this guy chose someone else, each day I have to see him, will be a little less painful. I have to trust God to carry me through, and comfort me. I just have to trust.
Each day - minute, in fact - is that much closer to the day that this will be a blip on the radar. A sizeable blip, but a blip. And a blip that God will use so that you can minister to someone else whose heart has been trampled.
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